When a client first books a boudoir session, they are sometimes unsure, or they are very excited about a long-awaited day of pampering. But then, something happens that can send the whole thing awry…the ugly monster of comparison. Whether it’s because you started paging through beauty magazines for inspiration, or combing the endless scrolling of Pinterest boards, you may start to question why you scheduled this shoot in the first place. I want to encourage you today. I want to share some ways you can stop the comparison game and head into your boudoir session knowing you DO deserve to be there, and it can be a day you will never forget.
-Look for body positive inspiration: No matter your size, we all have insecurities about parts of our body. Looking and viewing at positive magazines, campaigns and inspiration can help you promote a healthy body image about yourself. Avoid airbrushed models and supermarket tabloids (and yes, even those Victoria Secret catalogs) and look at real boudoir sessions you can feel confident about the different types of bodies that look amazing in these shoots (spoiler: it’s ALL OF THEM). If you want a great place to start, check out boudoir blogs HERE, where you will meet real women with real stories, who all look AMAZING.
-Remember you are worthy: If you’re a wife, mother, or working mom, then you are likely exhausted beyond reason! As women, we regularly over-extend ourselves, and forget that beneath all those responsibilities, we are still a woman. A person all our own. And a person that sometimes gets neglected. I recommend making an actual list of things you are good at. It sounds silly, but by placing these affirmations on our mirrors or around the house, we begin to repeat them to ourselves, and actually believe them! Things like, “I am a great mom”, “I am beautiful and worthy of love”, and “I deserve good things” can truly change your mindset about yourself.
-Remember this is YOUR session, and no one else’s. This is not going to be the same exact shoot as your cousin, or sister, or best friend. It’s all about YOU, and that’s what you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. I believe that a truly successful boudoir session celebrates the person in the images, not just the session itself. Using other people’s experiences as inspiration is helpful (especially when deciding on lingerie or poses), but you can’t compare your overall shoot, because it shouldn’t be identical to anyone else’s.
-There are no rules for your shoot: I don’t require you to wear only certain pieces, or for you to get completely nude for your shoot. I believe you should feel comfortable and at ease, at whatever level of undress or sexiness you desire. Your comfort is what matters most, and that you feel secure, beautiful, and happy as you leave my studio. Many women have an idea that they must be a size zero and completely nude for a truly authentic boudoir session, and that’s just not true. In fact, we have another post about our top ten most-loved lingerie pieces HERE, that offer various degrees of coverage.